The hush-hush party central of WMC ’03

Replacing the elegant Lola Bar is the kooky, pop-arty Nerve, a small South Beach experiment with a Phazon sound system, lighting system by Custom Lighting’s Derek Vasquez, and a visiting DJ roster that would pop your eyes out. Plus, this is a club with a concept – the owners describe it as “anti-minimalist,” or maybe “post-art-deco-revisionist.” Let’s just say that they’re going to totally change the club’s decor every two months, an idea inspired by legendary NY club Area. (We knew New Yorkers had to be behind this somehow…)

We let the Stalkers loose inside Nerve during Winter Music Conference week…not a good time to grade any Miami club, but who said we were fair?

Stalker #1
This place is totally uncool and I love it. There’s kitschy, crazy pop art all over the walls, weird-ass mannequins posed in the corner, and no hint of that detached European South Beach BS that pervades every other party in this city. The main room is about the size of my parent’s basement with ceilings almost as low, and that, my friends, is where the Phazon is. So all that blistering, pummeling, brain-rattling bass is trapped in this relatively tiny space, thus making the walls literally shake. There’s also a bodega next door for convenient pre-club cigarette and gum purchases.

Stalker #2
Nerve brought out the animal in all the DJs who played there. They’d get all their crew around them in the small elevated DJ booth, take one look at the crowd jammed into the dark, smoky space, and start mixing like madmen. Plus there’s a set of twins who work as bouncers there, a visual that only adds to the insanity if you opt to partake.

Stalker #3
My drink was a perfect mix of vodka and Bull, although after a couple I found it hard to get around the women’s bathroom. There’s an oddly placed mirror in there that plays depth-perception tricks with your eyes. Plus the individual stalls are really narrow and add to that tunnel effect that seems to happen when you’re drunk. I liked that the place was lounge-sized without a lounge feel (total dance club all the way), and that the staff was actually nice, which is rare in South Beach. And oh yeah, did I mention that the vibe in this club is totally insane?! We ended up at Nerve for three nights out of the Conference – that alone says it all.